The LORD gives food to the hungry

"Do not be afraid.... For the LORD, the God of Israel, says,
'The jar of flour shall not go empty,
nor the jug of oil run dry ....'"

The LORD ... gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets captives free....

The fatherless and the widow he sustains ....

Christ, offered once to take away the sins of many,
will appear a second time, not to take away sin
but to bring salvation to those who eagerly await him.

A poor widow also came and put in two small coins worth a few cents.

1 Kings 17:13-14

Psalm 146:7, 9

Hebrews 9:28

The Gospel, Saint Mark 12:42

I think someone took these readings from the Novus Ordo, or post-Vatican II missal, but I really like them and feel that they're an expression of what my Christianity is-or at least should be-about.

I really love the Traditional Latin Mass and now Sunday's my favorite day of the week.

But I feel that I'm a sinner who needs salvation. I knew this for a long time, but I'm taking this fact more seriously now that that I've been attending the Latin Mass and listening to Father's homilies and guidance in the confessional.

I feel that I'm more trusting to the Lord now and the focus on whatever's been going on in my life now-that the important thing is that I'm in a state of Grace-and that the Lord is truly looking after me. And I'm sure He really appreciates the widow dropping her last two cents in the collection basket-while He wishes that many of the more fortunate-such as a millionare who drops only a 20-dollar bill in the basket each Sunday-would be more generous.

Of course, I must be honest that my faith wanes sometimes, like it has recently. I used to say quite a bit that I had "the faith of an atheist", but I have not been feeling that way during the 9 months I've been attending the Latin Mass until recently when I had a setback. I haven't been feeling well lately and been feeling like I need a little more "tender loving care" from the other human beings in my life-not just from the Lord. But they don't always choose to give it. Maybe my faith is being tested right now.

Gratitude

We had a different priest say the Latin Mass yesterday morning. The one we usually have is on retreat.

The priest we had this time talked about being gratitude. He also said that there's a restaurant in Michigan he stops at on the way to "my native Canada." I've known for a long time that the Canadians' Thanksgiving is held in October-not November. Must be wonderful being a Canadian living in the United States-getting to celebrate Thanksgiving twice! I had that pleasure one year. I was going with a man who lived with a Canadian citizen. I was invited over to their house for Thanksgiving twice-both in October and in November. It was awesome! In fact the food the Canadian's wife fixed in October was the same as what we have in November in the US.

My friends in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) refer to November as Gratitude Month and say that the Canadians' Gratitude Month is October.

What a wonderful thing to have 61 days dedicated to being grateful!

Many times I'm not grateful enough-and complain about things not going my way-instead of being grateful for the good things.

I'm grateful today that I have a room to retreat to with a full bath and a phone (same number I had in my apartment) without people constantly banging on my door all hours of the day and night-regardless of what I'm doing trying to get money out of me for cigarettes-or at least a can of pop-as if I were responsible for feeding their addictions.

I'm glad that I can spend some time here praying at different times without having to constantly being distracted by noise or being dragged out of my "prayer closet" to see what anyone wants. I think this really helps me spend time with the Lord-and His Mother-when things are quiet most of the time-or that the noise out in the hall is not there to get me to do anything for anyone-it's just there.

I'm grateful that there are plenty of dogs and cats I can visit and pet. We can't have a dog or cat at the place I live, but we can have pet fish in our rooms-and I have a couple of them. I have a friend who has dogs and cats at her house. I get to go over there and pet them. Actually, there's just ONE dog at her house-she called me to tell me the other one is missing and to tell me to have EVERYONE I know pray for the other one to come back.

I'm not exactly rich or the healthiest person around-but others have it worse than me. Of course this is not good that people are so sick and poor-they do need our help.

And I'm grateful today that Jesus and Mary love me and want me to be in Heaven with them. In fact the ONE thing that Father says matters the most-that no matter what else happens to him is that he is in a state of grace!

I guess I haven't been thinking about that very much before attending the Latin Mass as much as I've been admiring the Protestants for their love of Jesus. But thinking of what Father says sometimes helps me to keep my sanity about even things that seem catastrophic-such as my rent check bouncing on me in July.

I've been very grateful that someone did the Heimleich maneuver on me and saved me from choking to death on a tiny bran flake. The feeling of gratitude I have about being alive-in the physical sense-reminds me of how I need to be grateful to Jesus for saving my soul-so I can go to Heaven when I finally have to leave this earth. But the sanctifying grace given by Jesus is far more important than anything that can be done by any man, woman, or child to keep me breathing so I can still be with them on Earth.

Evil=The Absence of Good

Last Sunday Father talked about good and evil in his homily. He said that evil is the absence of good and said it's like darkness being the absence of light. You flip the switch after walking into a dark room and you have light. And you flip the switch again and you remove the light-you have darkness again.

What a concept! Everything was good until Lucifer-a.k.a. Satan-decided he wanted to take charge and rebel instead of being faithful to God. And other angels decided to take his side instead of God's. So by being disobedient to God these fallen angels rejected good and chose evil. Of course, God wasn't-and still isn't-going to tolerate this lack of goodness in Heaven, so He had to throw them out of Heaven.

So He and St. Michael the Archangel went to work and got those devils out of Heaven and sent them off to Hell-a "place" that was made just for them.

Earth was perfect too, when Adam and Eve were created and they were perfectly happy. But they were tempted by Satan disguised as a serpent. The serpent asked Eve if God told her not to eat from any tree in the garden. She replied that she had been told she and Adam may eat from any tree in the garden-except for one. That was the one in the center of the garden-they were even told not to touch it. She said if she or Adam touched it they would die.

But the serpent told Eve that she wouldn't die if she ate the fruit of the tree; she would become like God and have knowledge of good and evil like Him. She tasted the fruit and it tasted good. And she gave some to Adam who ate it too. Then they found out they were naked and made clothes out of fig leaves. Then they were thrown out of the garden and had to suffer and die and everyone else had to suffer and die because of the sin they committed-what is known as Original Sin.

In fact the only two people who never had Original Sin on their souls were Jesus and His Mother Mary. Even John the Baptist had Original Sin in his soul while in the womb, but it was replaced by sanctifying grace when Mary arrived at the home of Elizabeth and Zechariah. Something was given to John while in the womb-sanctifying grace. Everyone else has to be baptized to be given sanctifying grace. And I've been thinking of baptism and the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) as ways of removing sin as well as giving grace.

I noticed that when I took Latin in high school that sine, the word for "without" was spelled almost like "sin" except there was an "e" at the end. And in college when I took Spanish, sin, their word for "without" was spelled exactly like our word "sin." I also heard that the word "sin" means to miss the mark. I feel that I've missed the mark in many ways and need to ask-and allow-God to give me grace and whatever help He'll give me to be on the "mark."


And I've been accustomed to thinking that evil things were being added, such as communicable diseases (via the addition of bacteria or viruses), neighbors who make too much noise or knock on the door too often or at the wrong time, automobile accidents, violence, you name it.

We (myself included) ought to accept the good that Jesus and Mary have to offer us instead of all these bad things that seem to be "added" to our lives. God didn't create evil, but He does use it to test and strengthen us.